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That Hopeless Feeling

Posted on 7 October, 2015 at 17:00

That hopeless feeling.


I call it the hopeless place.

Have you ever experienced feeling absolutely hopeless. Where everything just feels so awful. It's a very scary place to be. For in this place you are disconnected from all of the good feelings. You are disconnected from people. Disconnected from hope. It's hard to see a way out or through this place. Sometimes it's money worries that lead you into this darkness. Or relationship problems, with your partner, your parent, your friends, or it may be work related? Or health, or none of the above, but you are in the hopeless place!

It's dark, it's scary, and this feeling this hopeless feeling physically hurts. It creates a pain in your stomach, it creates a heaviness in your chest. It's hard to see a way out of here. It's feels impossible. It is such a lonely place. So overwhelming. Eating away, causing erosion. Blocking positive feeling, casting a shadow over positivity.

When you are in the hopeless place, no one will join you. People are afraid of this place. That's why it feels so lonely.

They are right to do everything in their power to stay out of this place. They don't belong there. But neither do you.

This is not a place for you to stay.

If you think of the many many emotions that we can experience. If you can imagine a scale rating the emotions. Positive emotions at the top. Joy being number one. Hopelessness at the very bottom. Joy seems so far away from that hopeless place. A long way to go. But what just above hopelessness? A slight improvement? It may still be a negative feeling? But not as dark. In order to move in the right direction it's important to remember the following:-


1. You don't belong in the hopeless place


2. No matter what you did or others did to you, this is not your place of residence.


3. If you move towards help, towards wanting to be in a better place. Wanting more than this. Then people will help. There is always support for wanting to feel better. That is going in the right direction.


4. If you need professional help. Make that call sooner rather than later. You deserve to feel better. Here at the Counselling Centre Maynooth, we believe that the hopeless place is only a temporary stop not a destination. It's time to move from that place.


5. Physical welfare. Focus on your physical needs. Have healthy meals. Eat regular meals.Take some form of exercise. A 20 minute walk releases serotonin. A chemical produced in the body believed to help with mood balance. Get lots of rest. Sleep hygiene has a huge impact on your emotional wellbeing.


6. Seek out good company. Someone who lifts your mood.


7. External environment. Burn Aromatherapy candles or sticks. Lavender is very good for calming and relaxing the mood.


8. Music. Listen to music that moves you and your mood.


9.Paint or dance or read a book. What activities do you enjoy?


10 listen to inspiring speakers or personal development gurus on you tube or read a self help book.

Maureen Gaffney' 'The Flourishing'


Don't delay take a positive step today.


Depression and the fear of relapse

Posted on 3 July, 2015 at 6:40

If you suffer from depression then you are very aware of the signs and symptoms of an episode. You may notice a heaviness in different parts of your body. You may be experiencing a sleepiness or lethargy. Certain types of thoughts may be rattling around your head on bad days, or certain repetitive negative images may be present leaving you feeling down.

You know your own symptoms as each depression sufferer’s symptoms are unique to the individual.

As you emerge from a particular bout or episode of depression, you will typically start to notice more good days, or good periods than bad and heavy feelings and thoughts less frequent. But even with this lifting there may be, at the back of your mind, a fear about another episode of indefinite duration. Even though some time may have passed since you felt depressed. It can be unnerving to notice some of the old negative feelings or thoughts returning.

Just remember, it is natural to feel fear or anxiety about the thought of becoming depressed again.

However, it’s also important to remember that most people have periods when they feel low, and that this is normal. We all have cycles of feeling good and positive followed by a dip. The level and length of the high and low varies from person to person. It is very difficult to sustain a high or very positive episode indefinitely.

The following is a self-assessment determining your emotional wellbeing

There are a few things to be mindful of when self-assessing your emotional wellbeing.

Rate each of the following 1 - 10 - 1 being low and 10 feeling amazing.

Rate how positive you are feeling?

What is your energy level?

How hopeful do you feel?

Rate your stress levels?

Are you able to problem solve easily?

Rate your creative part ?

Rate your level of physical activity?

How healthy is your diet?

Have you a daily routine?

If you are mostly above 5, You are in a good place and able to respond to any negative thoughts or feeling.

If you are below 5,

Ask yourself if there is any obvious reason why you are feeling low? If there is no clear reason, accept that you are feeling low today and support yourself through this time with gentleness and kindness. Treat yourself as you would a close friend. Give yourself permission to take it easy and mind your physical health. Rest, eat well and take moderate exercise. Try to avoid alcohol. If possible be around positive people.

If the symptoms continue, you may decide to look for outside help: you might seek counselling or consult your GP to explore other options.

Remember depressed people are often very hard on themselves, and often withdraw from friends and family, so try and ensure you stay connected to others, whether through work, social activities or hobbies and pastimes that you enjoy.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Although the path to that recovery will probably not be steady and straightforward all the time, lasting recovery is achievable. And part of that process is to re-learn what it is to feel low, anxious, or sad, without feeling the additional weight of hopelessness that most people say characterises depression.